I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just found a bag of teeth...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
