So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
