I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
