you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
