sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize