We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
