I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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