white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
