I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She bit a glass in half.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
