I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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