I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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