I must be too annoying 4 u.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
...so i touched it.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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