i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
