just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
