she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
