so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
