don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
