break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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