It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
accomplished twins. life is a go
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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