You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Randomize
