yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
