who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
