I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
