Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He had one of those small greek statue penises
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
