Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
you never un-have a 4some
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize