why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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