So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize