I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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