I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Randomize
