now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
