Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize