im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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