You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
