If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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