I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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