so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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