farters have to be the big spoon...
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize