Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
