Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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