Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
