yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
