Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
