someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
