started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize