Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
