I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
