we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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