she was so not down for the gang bang
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
