This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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