He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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