hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm too high and old for this...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
