not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
