She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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