I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
