you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
