Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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