It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
apparently the secret to your success is patron
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
