I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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