I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
