I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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