Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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