So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My breasts were aching with rage.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
