I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
