Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
