The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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