im drinking this country out of the recession.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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