her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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