Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize