Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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