i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
