you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize