His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You were trust falling into bushes
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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