the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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