what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
