I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
