i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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