I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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