i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
