Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
